July 11, 2011 | 
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Resolving Conflict: Six Simple Steps to Keeping the Peace
I’ve always said that the ability to effectively navigate conflict will ultimately propel you to grow both personally and professionally. When a heart-centered approach to conflict resolution is engaged, more often than not, it can make the difference between positive and negative outcomes.
One of the most challenging roles of an effective manager is that of “peacekeeper”. Resolving conflicts in the workplace takes negotiation skills, patience, and a healthy dose of emotional intelligence.
I recommend as a degreed HR professional and over twenty years coaching my clients that a conflict resolution model must involve six basic steps and three golden rules.
In any dialogue, there are two fundamental needs that must be met – the ego need and the practical need. The ego needs are: to be listened to, valued, appreciated, empathized with, involved, and empowered. The practical need refers to the obvious: the reason for having the discussion that focuses on the conflict that needs to be solved.
To address both needs, employ the three golden rules of engagement:
1. Listen and respond with empathy
2. Be involved; ask for the other person’s opinions, ideas and thoughts
3. Maintain and affirm self-esteem
Remember, fifty-five percent of a message from sender to receiver is done so via body language. Thirty-eight percent is conveyed by tone of voice and only seven percent by word choice. The body, soul and heart cannot lie – unless you are a diagnosed sociopath! So keep these things in mind when responding.
An example is one of the employer or manager, and employee. The most important thing to keep in mind is that if the employee doesn’t feel that they were heard or that they have achieved a “win” out of the discussion then they will not be motivated or resolve to change.
It comes down to compliance versus commitment. Without question, the person involved in the discussion or conflict resolution will be far more committed to the outcome if they feel empowered by it. As you go through the six-step process, look for ways to weave in the golden rules: listening and responding with empathy, maintaining or affirming self-esteem and involving the person.
SIX STEPS TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION
1. Discuss the situation in a respectful manner. Example: “John, I noticed you’ve been late a few times this week, which seems out of character for you – you’re always so reliable!” Don’t say, “You are always late.” This just gets the person’s back up.
2. Be specific. If you say, “I noticed that on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday you were 30 minutes late,” the person realizes you are aware of the situation and that they have to address the issue. Their explanation is a perfect opportunity for you to listen and respond with empathy. Remember: you do not necessarily have to agree with someone to empathize with them. You are simply attempting to put yourself in that person’s shoes – if only for a moment – not condemning or condoning the behavior.
3. Discuss how a conflict (or problem) impacts you, the work group, or the project. “John, I am not sure you are aware of the full impact of the conflict between you and Steve. The other employees are witnessing this, and it is making them uncomfortable…What do you feel is going on?” Remember, you are asking not telling.
4. Ask for the specific cause of the conflict. “John, from your perspective, what is happening here? You get along well with most everyone here so what is causing the conflict?” Remember to empathize again after their response, rather than say, “Yes, but you’ve got to get along.” The word “but” negates everything positive you just said.
If you have to fall on a conjunction, pick “and”. “Yes, I can imagine the challenge this presents – and we need to come up with a solution. What ideas might you have?”
5. Ask for the solution. For instance, “What do you think you need to do to help solve this situation? What is your next step?” This brings in accountability.
6. Agree on the action to be taken. This step is often missed and it’s the most important one. Think of it as a recap. “So John, what I am hearing you say is that you are going to talk to Steve (discuss details). By when were you thinking of doing that?” The last step is to close on a positive note and ask them to get back to you on the outcome.
Treat others as you want to be treated and you will keep the pace! Seize the day, Sher
Posted in Conflict, Job Searching, Leadership, Managing Across Generations, Uncategorized, Workplace | 
Tags: bodylanguage, conflict, leadership, management, sel-esteem | 
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How many applications and resumes does it take to find JUST one qualified candidate?
While the question sounds like the preamble to a funny punch line, the answer is no laughing matter.
According to an article last week in the Wall Street Journal, it takes many more than most employers think (or at least want to accept.) I repeat – a lot more. The actual numbers are mind boggling.
For example, infographic presented in the Wall Street article revealed that it takes approximately 1,000 online views by candidates to get 100 candidates to complete the application. Out of that, 25 applications are selected for review, and then 4 to 6 candidates are recommended for an interview. When all is said and done, companies may find their one diamond in the rough only after 1,000 candidates view the job posting. If those numbers hold up, it is clear that the impending war for talent is no longer imminent or pending. It’s here today.
Not one to rely only exclusively on hearsay, I was prompted by the article to review 25 jobs posted on our applicant processing system by clients during the last 3 months. The results don’t only confirm the findings presented in the Wall Street Journal but throw up an even bigger gauntlet to challenge employers. The best views-to-applicant scenario was 10 percent. But a more common scenario was as low as 1 percent.
Unfortunately for many companies, as good or bad as those results are, the job search does not always end when the one lonely qualified candidate is identified and offered the job. According to research presented by Talent Function Group, LLC, “the chosen applicant accepts the offer only 80% of the time.” That situation leads to two options – offer the job to your second choice (if there is one) or go back to the drawing board. Neither choice is desirable when a company’s productivity and competitive advantage are on the line and dependent on a minimum time to hire and high quality of hire.
To win the war for talent moving forward, nearly every employer will need to cast the widest possible sourcing net to attract, identify, and hire qualified candidates. In addition, operations and sales managers don’t have the time to waste interviewing candidates who can’t do the job.
The competition for recruiting qualified skilled workers poses a formidable challenge for most organizations. Management has a choice: deal with a “resu-mess” which will inundate recruiting and human resource staffs, which are already running lean; or insist on applicant processing automation to build a talent pool of qualified candidates, reduce the time-to-hire, and ultimately improve the quality of employees.
Social Media Controversy at Dallas City Hall
I was fortunate to be featured in a story on social media controversy at Dallas City Hall. Should employees be allowed to use Facebook at work on the taxpayer’s dollar? Have a look:
Adapting to Differences: How to Successfully Manage a Multi-Generational Workforce
Thousands of would-be retirees, their retirement accounts depleted, remain in the ranks of the employed. At the same time, another graduating class enters the job market every year. These two factors are creating a clash of the generations, and managing a multigenerational work force continues to get more and more challenging for business leaders and managers.
Most companies and managers are doing their very best to remain strong and deliver on expectations through the recession.
But this becomes extremely difficult when, for the first time in history, the work force comprises four distinct generations: traditionalists, boomers, Generation Xers and millennials.
Each group has strong assets that managers can tap into in order to make their businesses more effective and successful.
For example, traditionalists and boomers tend to bring drive, determination and vast amounts of knowledge and experience to any company that they work for. Boomers, however, tend to be less team-oriented than millennials. Boomers are also used to acquiring information and more inclined to keeping it to themselves because they feel like knowledge is power. But the problem is if they can’t effectively communicate with and train younger generations, their employers will lose profitable knowledge. Millennials, after all, must be effectively trained.
Because Xers tend to be fundamentally independent, they are often free thinkers and can be a valuable source of fresh ideas to revamp your organization. You should always ask for their input. And the millennials usually thrive in team environments and typically are not shy about putting in their two cents about anything you may ask them about or want an opinion on. They are also a fountain of fresh ideas. Additionally, they tend to be highly productive and excellent multitaskers.
Right now, millennials are a hot commodity on the job market, mainly because they are cheap hires. After all, older Xers and boomers are looking for higher wages and the corner office, and sometimes executives mistakenly think it makes sense to lay them off and replace them with cheaper labor.
Yet this strategy creates a problem. It might seem like replacing older employees with lower-paid millennials makes financial sense, but it really doesn’t if you stop and think about the true implications of doing something like this. If there are no boomers and Xers around to train the millennials, the company will suffer. Untrained millennials may take hours to complete tasks that a trained boomer could complete in five minutes, so this would actually increase a company’s cost of doing business.
It’s important to make sure you’re maintaining a good generational mix and facilitating communication and knowledge transfer across generations. It can only help your bottom line.
Consider these three tips for managing today’s multigenerational work force:
1. When you are trying to get a point across, always keep your audience in mind. If you can understand generational differences, then you can tailor your communication to speak powerfully to your targeted demographic.
2. Abandon “one-size-fits-all” thinking. Different generations are motivated by different things. Accordingly, you should use a range of recruiting and incentive strategies to make sure your company appeals to all four generations instead of just one or two.
3. To make sure incoming employees are properly trained, allow them to choose their own training methods, as they each have different preferences. Whereas a boomer may learn best by attending a live class, a millennial may prefer to take a webinar instead. Allow your employees to choose the training methods that work best for them, and in doing so, they’ll respond better to the training and be more effective in the organization.
SHERRI ELLIOTT-YEARY is CEO of Optîmance Workforce Strategies, founder of Gen InsYght and author of “Ties to Tattoos: Turning Generational Differences into a Competitive Advantage.” Contact her at sherri@generationalguru.com.
Job Searching in the New Economy
- A guest blog post by Sarah Spence
I met Sherri through my last employer, which was a construction company for whom I performed HR management operations. I wanted to take my career to the next level, and Sherri mentored me through the job transition process. I’m now proud to say I work for the HR department of Mary Kay, and I love going to work every day!
Here’s what I learned from the process:
SARAH’S RECOMMENDATIONS FOR PEOPLE LOOKING FOR JOBS IN THE CURRENT ECONOMY:
Make connections and build relationships
- Every relationship is worth your time.
- Had I not explored the connection with Sherri I would not be where I am today.
Let your guard down and don’t fear being authentic
- It’s hard to make a connection with someone who seems fake or appears to be hiding something.
- With social media, it’s become easier for people to discover who you really are.
Be intentional and make sure your intentions are in the right place
Check your ego at the door
- People shouldn’t turn down a good opportunity at a great company because it carries a lesser title.
- I accepted an entry-level position at Mary Kay because Sherri made me realize I didn’t really deserve my senior title at the construction company with only two years of experience.
Find a mentor
- Find someone who can be a sounding board and help you see things more clearly and be more realistic.
Listen
- You can learn something from everyone you meet if you’re willing to listen.
